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Care About What I Watch, Will Ya?

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Kristi McDowell

I watch a lot of TV. I’m not sure how that happened, as I went about ten years without watching much at all. Which isn’t to say that I didn’t watch things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, and things like that when they came out on DVD but prior to about three years ago, I rarely watched anything while it was actually airing. I have a Netflix account but, like many others, I was frustrated when they separated their streaming and mailing systems and it’s severely cramped my viewing style. Fortunately, I get nearly every channel offered, so I get to watch a lot of programming anyway. And with a DVR, I can still watch things on my own time. Current shows, even! Suck it, Netflix!

Finally, a reason to keep the DVD aspect of the service.

I’ve already lamented on the not-quite-but-basically-it’s-being-cancelled brilliant show of Community and have discussed the amazingness of Once Upon A Time but they’re definitely not the only things I watch. As the winter/spring season of television is upon us, I figured I’d give a run down of the things I do watch and why I watch. I’ll also dish on the things that I’ve given up on and will not be watching when they return to the air. This is in no particular order.

Pan Am: The basic premise of the show is the rise of the Pan Am airline in the 60s. And while that wouldn’t seem exciting to most (I mean, it’s about an airline), there are certain factors that make it appealing. First, I love shows that take place in different eras. Some of my favorite shows, such as That 70s Show, The Wonder Years, Playboy Club (even though it got cancelled), and Mad Men all were about bygone eras. Second, there are spies! The show takes place during the Cold War and a Pan Am stewardess has access to people and places that few others do. Third, and perhaps most important, are the stewardesses themselves. This is a gorgeous cast (except for Christina Ricci… is there ANYTHING that can be done about those crazy eyes?) and they are all very interesting in their own ways. The French woman has flashbacks to being a child during World War II, the runaway heiress struggles with her desire to be her own woman but still be accepted by her family, Christina Ricci is some kind of hippie liberal… and, of course, there’s a spy! The writing is pretty good, if a little hokey in some places, but all in all, it’s very entertaining and I’m so glad that it got picked up for the rest of the season.

Can you guess which one's the spy?

Once Upon A Time: There are those that say this show is too obvious or cheesy and, while that may be true, it’s one of the reasons that I love it. I think it appeals to the child in me, that wants a fairytale. Fairytales are obvious. You know the wicked witch is going to get it in the end. You know the prince and the princess are going to live happily ever after. You know that Rumplestiltskin has power in a name. But the telling of the story is unique enough that, even though you know what the outcome is going to be, you’re intrigued enough to see how it all plays out. I think the three primary female leads (Jennifer Morrison, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Lana Parrilla) are all fantastically different characters, though bordering on stereotypical, and their real-life/fairytale stories are compelling. I may already know how the story is going to end but the ride to get there is pretty fun.

Hawaii Five-O: While I don’t usually like cop dramas, I started watching this show simply so that I can hear the theme song once a week. Who doesn’t immediately recognize the original show’s iconic theme music? I was interested to see a reboot of what I had considered a very cheesy show when it originally aired. I expected Hawaii Five-O to be ridiculous, over the top, and just like every other cop show out there. It is ridiculous and over the top but it is definitely not like every other cop show out there. The bright colors, the beaches, the interesting locals make for a very different kind of crime drama. Steve McGarrett is a former Navy Seal who now leads the Five-O task force with the blessing of the governor and many of their cases weave in and out of the main story, where McGarrett is tracking down the man who killed his father. It’s a bit of a cliché, but the story takes us to the mainland of the US, to Japan, to every island on Hawaii and it’s an exciting journey. Scott Caan is hysterical as Danny Williams and the happiest moment of every episode is when McGarrett gets to say “Book ‘em, Danno.”

Oh, and Kono's a lady. A very foxy lady.

Up All Night: This new show took me completely by surprise. Starring Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, and Maya Rudolph, it tells the story of a young successful couple who is adjusting to life as new parents. Reagan and Chris (Applegate and Arnett) are hilarious parents, trying to balance being cool parents with good parents to their infant/toddler daughter who is too young to care about whether her parents are cool while Ava (Rudolph) is Reagan’s boss/best friend who was once a 90s pop star but now has her own daytime talk show. The parents swear in front of their baby but feel terrible about it and Ava feels jealous of her lesser role to baby Amy. The result is a show that pulls no punches about how funny it can be to be new parents in a world that doesn’t exactly prepare you for how to cope with career and family.

Whitney: This is another show that I was surprised to like as much as I do. Featuring Whitney Cummings, who gained fame as part of Chelsea Handler’s crew of comedians for Chelsea Lately, the show is about a couple who has been together for three years but is unmarried by choice. Their life is riddled with the same kinds of problems most young couples face- their friends are in the processes of getting married or returning to the dating scene after having been divorced and they have no idea where they stand compared to all of that. It’s a funnier dynamic than I can describe.

Archer: This might be the funniest animated series on the air right now. Seriously, I don’t laugh half as hard at anything else as I do Archer. It’s the continuing adventures of Sterling Archer, a secret agent under the employ of ISIS, which is run by his mother. His co-workers include his ex-girlfriend and superior secret agent, Lana, and the support staff- Cyril the accountant, Pam the HR representative, and Cheryl the secretary. Many of Archer’s exploits result in him finding out more clues about his missing father and everyone pretty much getting up to wildly hilarious hijinks.

They never show Pam in the promos!

I’ll also be watching Are You There, Chelsea? which will star Laura Prepon (of That 70s Show fame) as Chelsea and Chelsea Handler as her older sister. I love both of them, so I’m willing to give it a chance, even though it seems to be kind of a wacky concept. If anyone has ever read the book Are You There, Vodka? It’s me, Chelsea, you’ll have an idea of what the show might be about (if you haven’t read the book, it’s basically about Chelsea getting drunk and having lots of sex). It’s on network TV, so we’ll see how it goes.

Other mentions but not worth talking about are The Biggest Loser, Saturday Night Live, The Bachelor, and Pitbulls & Parolees. Mostly just junk TV but it’s entertaining.

Oh, are you all here for me? You can leave your man servant outside. We won't be needing him.

Now for the breakdown of shows I will not be watching, though I used to.

American Idol: This is junk TV to the max and, while I’ll readily admit to having watched it, it’s gotten to the point that I can’t even watch it anymore (and that’s saying something, since I watch The Bachelor). The talent has been lackluster in recent years and the loss of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul have made the only other interesting part of the show non-existent. If I have to hear Randy Jackson call another contestant “dawg” one more time, I will lose my ever-loving mind. Steven Tyler was great during the auditions but turned into a babbling idiot on the live shows and Jennifer Lopez didn’t bring anything to the show at all. It was a waste of a season and I won’t be going back for more.

"Did I do something, dawg?"

Glee: This is the most painful declaration for me. I loved Glee. And when Glee started to get bad, I loved Glee anyway. I thought that the concept could save the writing and, sadly, the plucky gang of misfits who just want to sing got beaten to death by bad writing and crazed fan speculation. The lack of continuity was one thing and one thing I could get over (I read comic books, after all; retcon is the name of the game there) but the worst thing of all was that every episode was turning into sappy fan fiction. It was as though the writing staff went to the message boards after each episode so that they could plan the next episode. It’s horrific. The music is still good but the effort to tie it into some celebrity tribute and still make sure that whatever fan favorite relationship made sense was a losing battle and the cost was my viewership. I just can’t do it anymore. Good-bye, Glee. I can’t say it’s been a little slice of heaven… because it hasn’t.

I stopped believing, guys, even after you sang/begged me not to.

The only thing I wish for this winter/spring season would be a brilliantly written sci-fi/fantasy show. I need another Firefly or Battlestar Galactica. I’ve got my comedy, I’ve got my drama, I’ve got my reality TV. I just need something outlandish (and Glee just doesn’t cut it). Maybe someone smart should come up with a show about the rebooted Star Trek franchise’s Star Fleet Academy. I would watch that.

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The Muppets

Posted on December 2, 2011 by Kristi McDowell

I grew up with the Muppet movies. I wasn’t old enough to watch the original series but Muppets Tonight was pretty awesome. And when the original Muppet Show got released on DVD, I attacked it like a howler monkey. The Muppets have been a part of our entertainment culture for a long, long time, bringing the third greatest gift anyone can receive to several generations of fans: laughter.

When I first saw the trailers for a new Muppet movie, I was thrilled. It stars Jason Segel and Amy Adams, who are absolutely perfect for a Muppet movie. They’re essentially living, breathing cartoons themselves. Jason has that goofy smile that hints that he’s not always exactly sure what’s happening around him and Amy has those huge, crazy huge, super intensely huge eyes that only exist in Anime. To the be the two main human characters in a Muppet movie is pretty much what they were bred for.

We may or may not be cartoons.

I waited patiently for months for the film to come out, watching many different trailers that didn’t actually say what the movie was really going to be about. Then I finally saw one that introduced Walter, Jason Segel’s Muppet brother. That’s when I started to worry a bit.

Introducing a new character in order to tell a new story with familiar characters stinks of “Mary Sue” to me. Especially since it was clear that this character was ultimately going to be the hero of the story. For people unfamiliar with the term, according to Wikipedia it’s “a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. It is generally accepted as a character whose positive aspects overwhelm their other traits until they become one-dimensional.” This happens all the time in fan fiction but it does tend to happen in other forms of entertainment (I’m looking at you, Wesley Crusher). Before even seeing the movie, I could tell that this one puppet character that hangs out with Jason Segel and Amy Adams was going to be a large part of the plot. I’d hoped that this wouldn’t be the case, that Walter would serve as a catalyst for the plot, but not be the integral piece to the puzzle.

I just saw the movie and last night and, sadly, I was right from the beginning: Walter is to The Muppets what Wesley Crusher is to the crew of the Starship Enterprise 1701-D. Spoilers to follow.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

The film opens with a brief history of Gary (Jason Segel) and Walter. They are apparently brothers/best friends growing up in Smalltown, KS. I think it was Kansas. After some time, it became clear that Walter was never going to be taller than three feet. There is a sad scene of Walter trying to get onto a roller coaster but being too short. His taller brother decides to take him home and rent a video. But not the sort of video you would expect one brother to cheer up his depressed other brother with. They rent The Muppet Show and Walter’s obsession begins. The rest of the history lesson shows that Walter is crazy-go-nuts about the Muppets, well into adulthood.

The story really starts when Gary and Walter wake up one morning (sleeping in the same room on twin beds) and discuss the upcoming tenth anniversary trip Gary is taking Mary (Amy Adams) on. Note the names. Cute, right? Very Muppets. They are going to Los Angeles, where Mary has always wanted to go. Very romantic. Gary has a surprise for Walter, though: he’s coming along on their romantic getaway!

In Los Angeles, they go to the abandoned Muppet studio to discover that it is in a state of disrepair. The only other people on the tour are only there because they think it’s Universal Studios. It’s a pretty depressing scene, as they tour a facility that once was so clearly lively and zany but is now probably not safe for them to be walking in. During the tour, Walter sneaks away to see Kermit’s office, which was once the highlight of the tour.

You'll never guess what he had underneath the floor boards.

It’s here that the plot thickens. Walter overhears an oil tycoon and philanthropist, Tex Richman, talking to his minions Uncle Deadly and Bobo, about how when the deed turns over to his possession, he is going to tear down the Muppets Studio and drill for oil! All while telling the world that he’s going to turn it into a Muppet Museum! The fiend! We also learn here that he is incapable of laughing and, as a result, obviously evil.

Walter returns to Gary and Mary and tells them all about the plot that’s afoot. They decide to do the only logical thing they can think of: drive around Los Angeles until they find Kermit’s house. Once there, we find out that Kermit lives alone in a house that Miss Piggy had made for them and is generally pretty depressed. This is when we start to see that Kermit isn’t actually the star at all. Walter has to convince Kermit to get the gang together and raise ten million dollars to save the Muppets Studio. Kermit was ready to throw in the towel. Kermit! The eternal optimist, the star of all things Muppet! Walter, the new guy, gets Kermit to do the right things and gather all the Muppets together for one last show.

So, they gather the Muppets. Fozzie has been leading a Muppet tribute band, the Moopets, in Reno. Gonzo is a plumbing tycoon, Animal is in anger management with Jack Black, Miss Piggy is in Paris working for a magazine… all of them have moved on with their lives. Once all but Piggy are gathered, they all travel to Paris to see what’s up with her.

Her career took an interesting path.

Apparently, Piggy has gotten tired of Kermit’s wishy-washy approach to their relationship all these years and has moved on. She decides not to return with the group because Kermit can’t admit that he needs her as much as they all do. Defeated, the Muppets return to Los Angeles and hire Miss Poogy, from Fozzie’s old band, to replace Piggy.

Now that they’ve got a group together, they need to put on a show! They go to network executive after network executive until finally CDE gives them a chance (only after Punch Teacher, their biggest show ever, is cancelled for unclear reasons. Unclear meaning completely obvious to everyone but the network executives). But the condition is that they need a celebrity host.

With less than two days to clean up the Muppet Theatre, put a show together, and find a celebrity host, all seems hopeless. Thankfully, Walter is there again to remind them all why they do what they do and how important it is that they try. The poor Muppets can only function because Walter tells them they have to. It’s quite sad. During the clean-up, all of the Muppets take a real liking to Walter, and Kermit starts calling celebrities to try to help (with no luck).

What about Mary and Gary, do you ask? Well, the plot finally remembers them and Mary confronts Gary about his being so involved with the Muppets and not with her. Gary promises her that their anniversary will be very special, he just wants to help Walter help the Muppets. But their anniversary dinner on Friday (the night of the Muppets telethon) will be everything she’d ever hoped for. But all Mary cares about is getting married, like all girls should care about, and she mopes around Los Angeles for a while. She does have a pretty excellent song here.

Doesn't she realize that everything is better alone?

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch, Piggy has returned and has kicked Miss Poogy out of the group. Poogy threatens them all (foreshadowing!) and leaves. Piggy informs Kermit that she’s only there for the rest of the Muppets and for her own attempts at fame, and fortune, and everything that goes with it (I thank you all) and NOT for Kermit. But rehearsals are going badlly, Kermit still can’t find a host, and Walter, who has been asked to join in on the act, can’t find a talent. Can anything else go wrong?

Yes it can! Richman plans to sabotage the Muppets’ return to the stage! And then we forget about him again.

We've been here, like, the whole time.

Eventually, Mary tells Gary that he needs to decide whether he’s a Muppet or a man. Gary has no idea what she means until he (with Walter’s help) remembers that they’ve been together ten years as of that day. He decides to return to Smalltown with her, leaving Walter in the capable hands of the Muppets. Walter still can’t find a talent! The Muppets still don’t have a celebrity host! And their show is a wreck! What will they do?

Kermit decides to go home. Because he is just too damned depressed to go on. When Kermit bails, Piggy takes matters into their own hands. They decide to kidnap Jack Black to be their celebrity host! Once Jack Black is kidnapped, they convince Kermit to do the show with him as host, despite his reservations about committing a crime just to get their studio back.

Tenacious D doesn't stand a chance.

Things still look bleak. Their only audience is a gang of hobos who seem to live in the theatre. But fortunately, Whoopi Goldberg, Selena Gomez, and the kid from Modern Family arrive to take telethon calls. Things start falling into place. The show starts and all looks like it’s going to work out after all.

Until Walter realizes that he’s got to go on and still hasn’t figured out that he has a talent And then the Moopets and Richman show up to wreck the place. But Mary and Gary return from Smalltown and restore electricity to the theatre! And then Deadly and Bobo turn against Richman. And the Moopets don’t actually seem to do anything. Hooray!

But wait! They’ve got more time than they have acts. The money doesn’t seem to be rolling in anymore. What can they do?

Your entire career rests in the hands of a brand new character. Tremble in your webbed shoes, Frog.

Walter returns to save the day, having just remembered that he’s a fantastic whistler. His whistling fills that last space in the act. But midnight strikes and they’ve missed their mark by a dollar… or, rather, once they fix the reader board, they find that they actually weren’t very close at all. Plus, not only did they lose the studio, the Muppets apparently signed away their very name (now the Moopets can effectively steal their identities). Oh no!

Kermit’s all like “Well, we tried and failed, but we failed together, so let’s all just get out of here. Oh, and also yay Walter for getting us all back together.” They leave and that’s where the real Muppet magic happens. The streets are filled with Muppets fans. They may have lost the studio but people still care about the Muppets. Hooray again!

Ohhhh... we thought you were someone else.

Richman then has an accident and learns to laugh. He decides give the studio back to the Muppets and let them keep their name. Walter is asked to lead the Muppets forever join the Muppets and Gary proposes to Mary. And Kermit and Piggy get back together. All is right in the world especially for Walter.

I know this review seems negative and it really doesn’t deserve a negative review. It’s actually quite brilliant. I just think Walter was an unnecessary element. Any other existing character could have been a motivating force had the writers decided to keep Kermit a Debbie Downer throughout. Maybe Fozzie, sick of leading a Muppets tribute band, goes back to the studio for a trip down memory lane and hears of Richman’s plot. Or maybe Richman’s lackeys get a change of heart and go to warn Kermit and the rest of what’s to happen. Or ANYTHING else. Why bring in a new character who really doesn’t add anything to the plot?

It couldn't have been any worse than using existing characters that STILL don't add anything to the plot! Eh heh heh heh!

I suppose, if I think about it, Walter represents a new audience for the Muppets, and if he can be accepted, new viewers can be just as accepted. As a longtime fan, though, I really didn’t need him.

The jokes and gags are classic Muppets through and through, though, and overall, it is a fantastic movie. It’s filmed beautifully and it was great to see some of my favorite characters grace the silver screen again. It was filled with celebrity cameos, as was to be expected. Despite all my spoilers so far, I’ll let you, noble reader, be just as surprised and elated with each cameo.

Go watch the Muppets. It’s worth it. Even with Walter stealing the show.

http://burimyufan85.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/wesley_crusher.jpg

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How I Got Back Into Comic Books

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Kristi McDowell

A brief but not boring history lesson: I was born to be a geek. I had everything a developing geek needed, including poor eyesight, crushing social awkwardness, and an inability to dress myself without looking like my parents picked out my clothes (when my mom picked out my clothes, I looked way better). Also, my folks were in the military, so we moved around a lot. To top it off, my dad is a big fan of sci-fi/fantasy books & TV and comic books. So, because everything physically and geographically prevented me from making (and keeping) friends and the fact that the most prevalent entertainment sources in the house at any given time were of the geeky variety, it was extremely likely that I was going to end up on the internet spouting my opinion about Star Wars, DC vs. Marvel, and my undying love for Buffy the Vampire Slayers.

We were the typical American family.

My dad collected comic books and when I was about ten years old or so, I discovered his abandoned collection in the basement of my grandparents’ house. This was a day that changed my life forever. There, in a wooden filing cabinet was four drawers filled with his comic books collection from the 70s and 80s. The fact that he was a Marvel fan (particularly of Spider-Man and X-Men) is what molded me into becoming a little Marvel fan. I would spend hours and hours reading, learning to love stories told via images and word-bubbles. I was already an aspiring writer and illustrator; comics just made me realize just how much you can do with storytelling. I was absolutely hooked.

Several years later, puberty hit and suddenly I became very aware of who I was and, most importantly, where I was on the social ladder. I might have been the one holding the ladder steady while all of my peers stepped over me in their attempt to reach the top. Being a young teenaged girl, this pained me more than I’d ever hurt before. Like everyone in middle school and high school, I just wanted to be liked.

Social status be damned! I'm surrounded by funny pages!

I decided that part of the reason I wasn’t liked was because I liked comic books. It couldn’t have had anything to do with the aforementioned lack of social skills or the style sense of someone who had never in her life looked at a magazine! So I kept my love of comic books a secret, spending my lunch money on them and then hiding them in a special pocket in my backpack. I would sit on the radiator in the lunchroom, the comic book stuffed in a notebook that I was pretending to study from, and peer out over the sea of other students who hated and feared me because of my mutant powers inability to interact with another human being love for comic books.

I eventually made friends and became less paranoid about my love for comics. My hobby survived my awkward teenage years with a little bit of bruising but more or less in tact. What I didn’t suspect would happen to me was adulthood. The freedom crushing sense of needing to go to work to pay bills, go to college, get a haircut, eat at McDonalds every day, etc began to weigh on me. I was also discovering that girls are really pretty and that was pretty much taking up all of my time. And, as it turned out in the early 2o00s, girls didn’t like girls who liked comic books. By this time, I’d learned not to dress like an idiot and cut my hair short so that I wouldn’t have to put my hair in a stupid ponytail all the time so other than the fact that I could recite all the dialogue and sound effects to The Empire Strikes Back, girls were actually starting to take notice of me back. So I did the only thing that made sense: I started reading People magazine and stored all of my geekery into plastic tubs, never to be heard from again.

And don't even get me started on webcomics!

Flash forward ten years (because my God, I’m depressing): comic books and geekery are totally hip now! Thanks to movies like Iron Man, Batman Begins, and Star Trek and shows like Heroes, Lost, and Battlestar Galactica, people are way more accepting of geeks and their hobbies. Comic books are being recognized for their ability to tell stories and writers like Alan Moore, Neil Gaimon, and Gail Simone are being acclaimed for their work in the field. It’s a great time to be a geek!

The trouble was, I’d been out of the scene for almost ten years. Where to start? What to do? Fortunately, DC started the New 52 campaign, which wiped the slate clean (more like erasing a chalkboard) to give new readers a jumping in point. And they had other goals like making money rejuvenating the line and things like that. But it was good enough for me. I picked up Batwoman, Catwoman, and Batgirl and am loving each of them to varying degrees. I’ll be writing reviews of them very shortly.

But what about Marvel? Well, at around the same time, the X-Men had undergone a “Schism”, breaking the groups into two teams with opposing worldviews. Not entirely original, considering their long history, but (again) it was good enough for me and I had a launch point for a title I had loved as a kid. Of course, there is a lot of stuff I missed by being away so long, so trying to figure out who’s who and what’s happened when has been a challenge.

Oh good, that cleared things up.

Additionally, IDW has restarted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles title and that has been brilliant so far, too!

I suppose the moral of my story is that you should only do things when everyone else is doing them. Because peer pressure is the only justification for anything you decide to do. Which, of course, is a joke. I’m glad that geekdom is rising in popularity, but in all seriousness, I’m bummed that I let myself be swayed from something I’ve always loved. It was only a matter of time before I really came back to the flock but Joss Whedon, JJ Abrams, Christopher Nolan, and Robert Downey Jr. really helped make the path back an easier one to tread.

I started spending time at my local comic book shop, browsing the shelves, getting opinions from other geeks, and decided to start with Batwoman, Catwoman, and Batgirl for DC. As a member of the LBGT community, I feel that it’s part of my duty to read a comic that has a lesbian as it’s main character so that pulled me to Batwoman. And I have not been disappointed. It’s beautifully drawn and I really feel for Kate Kane and her struggles. Catwoman was recommended to me and while I’m not a hundred percent on board yet, I’ll give her a few more issues. Batgirl I picked up because Gail Simone writes it and I am loving it. It’s got a sense of fun that the other two don’t have quite yet but is still grounded in the seriousness of the rest of the Bat-line.

Uh, anytime you're ready to tell a story, Catwoman writers, I'll be waiting.

For Marvel, I’ve picked up Uncanny X-Men and Wolverine & the X-Men. I have A LOT of catching up to do, since Marvel hasn’t done a reboot the way DC has, but I’m sure a few days on Wikipedia will solve any confusion. They’re both very different books: I like the grim feel of Uncanny while Wolverine is witty and fun in a way that is unexpected for a Wolverine book but is very easy to get into.

And TMNT is the frakin’ Ninja Turtles. I’d be an idiot not to read!

Just classic.

All in all, I expect my return to comics to be anything but disappointing. All the effort made to modernize them and engage the audience has made it an exciting time to make my return to the fold and I am very happy to be back.

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